His Grandma Gifted Them $9K, Then Demanded $12K Back After A Year. Dave Ramsey Asks, ‘Is She Mentally Ill, Or Is She Just A Liar?’
Tyler from Chicago thought he and his wife had received a generous $9,000 gift from his grandmother to help them buy a home. She said it was for their wedding, birthdays, Christmas, and every other holiday rolled into one.
A year later, that same grandmother sent a letter demanding not only the full amount back, but also interest, claiming the gift was actually a loan.
From Gift To Legal Threat
Tyler called into “The Ramsey Show” to get advice from personal finance experts Dave Ramsey and John Delony. “She told us it was a gift and said, ‘Don’t ever worry about paying it back,’” Tyler said. But now she’s saying they owe her $12,000.
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Making matters worse, the grandmother had filled out tax paperwork at the time of the gift to avoid gift taxes, further reinforcing that it wasn’t a loan.
Delony said it’s a choice between $12,000 and a relationship that’s going to ripple through their entire family.
Ramsey was even more direct. “Is she mentally ill, or is she just a liar?” he asked. Tyler replied that she had been diagnosed as a narcissist and a liar.
The hosts agreed that Tyler doesn’t owe the money, morally or legally. “I don’t see any way in the world, legally or morally or otherwise, that you owe her $12,000,” Delony said.
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“Grandma, you told us that this was a gift. We have paperwork that shows that it’s a gift, and now you’re reneging on that, and that’s not okay,” Ramsey laid out what Tyler should tell her. “You’re misbehaving. I love you, but I don’t love this behavior, and I’m not going to pay you because I don’t owe you.”
The hosts emphasized that this wasn’t about money, but about control. “It has nothing to do with the actual transaction. The actual transaction that occurred is very clear,” Ramsey said. “It’s got to do with power and control,” Delony added.
A Family Pattern
Tyler admitted this wasn’t the first time his grandmother had pulled something like this. “She’s done stuff like this before to my parents. I thought that my wife and I were the exception.”
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Delony recommended sitting down with his parents to understand how they had handled her manipulation in the past. Ramsey also warned that even if Tyler paid her off, it probably wouldn’t end there. “When you give her $12,000, you’re probably going to get a letter that goes, ‘Oh yeah, I forgot about the other thousand you still owe,’” he said. “She makes crap up as she goes in order to keep her hooks in the end of the puppet.”
And if the grandmother threatened to remove them from her will? “Please take me out of the will,” Ramsey said. “I don’t really want to negotiate with the other crazy relatives.”
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